Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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