Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
