yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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