Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
