i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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