haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
