Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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