I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
