it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Randomize
