so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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