Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
