Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
