Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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