fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
