SEEEEXXX PLEASE
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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