I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
