end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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