quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
