you win again, gameday.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
