I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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