So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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