trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
