my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
