You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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