is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just want to make out with him forever
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
