no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
