I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
