Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
