We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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