standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
