Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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