yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
