My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
