Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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