I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she told me i tasted like america
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
