I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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