I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
