Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
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