just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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