That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
