Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
