i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
