I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
