DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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