But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
