Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
