Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
