you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
