North Korea, Best Korea!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
