so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
